Weekend Rewind - Emilya's Baptism

Thanks to technical issues, thus post is two days late, but better late than never right??

Our weekend was pretty much amazing! Crazy busy, but celebrating our little girl made all the hard work worthwhile!

We will rewind all the way to Thursday! M and I took Emilya to get her ear moulds made for her hearing aid and just got more information overall. It is going to be quite the learning curve ahead of us, so any info given to us at this point is pretty much gold in our eyes. Em did really well for that appointment, but we didn't get out of there until 12 and our next appointment we couldn't go to until after 1, so we decided to hit up the mall for some lunch and to find M a new dress shirt. It was a nice little date, something we don't do very often and Em was a dream baby. We got M a new shirt and a new tie and then headed across London to the Childrens Hospital to pick up a req for the proper testing for Emilya. Long story short, the intern who dictated the ENT's letter wrote the wrong tests, and had I not questioned the testing specifically during the appointment, then she would have needed blood work done twice. I was not a happy mama, especially when the receptionist at the doctors office pulled the "well if it was my child, I would do the blood work" instead of calling the ENT's office to clarify. So I called the ENT to clarify and therefore pic up the proper req. So she did her urine test while we were at the hospital, as well as her ECG. Both tests she did with no problems, flashing smiles at everyone she came across. Like I said - dream baby with no tears all day except for the last 10 minutes on the way home.

On our way out, we decided to pop up to the maternity ward to see if the nurses we had were working and sure enough they both were! Emilya loved them! Then we headed to Costco quickly and then home. We had dinner at the farm, as well as picked up Noah. 

Noah had his first Music In Motion class - that I missed, but Grandma took him and apparently it was a bit of a crazy class. So hopefully this week goes a bit better, but he seemed to like it!

Thursday night I had "Book club". I didnt even attempt to read this months book, but I am reading the book I chose a few months ago that finally became available. Me Before You and I am loving it! It is pretty much a girls night, more than book discussion, we also played a little Cards Against Humanity and well I didnt get home until 1 AM! Luckily I only took enough wine for two glasses, but the other ladies were regretting thier poor choices from the night before a PA Day! Check out the glasses we had made: 

Friday was gloomy, and we just stuck around the house and worked away on whatever I could with children. Friday night was pretty much tackling the to-do list, like hanging curtains in the basement, etc. Oh and Noah had a hair cut. 

Saturday morning we got right to work, got ready for gymnastics, stopped at the market for fresh cut flowers and then off to gymnastics. He did pretty well, and it is great to see how much he improves week to week. I stopped at Carters to get Noah something to wear for the baptism, we grabbed lunch and headed home. Once we got the kids down for their naps I headed to Costco to pick up the cake, pictures and fruit and veggie trays.

A kid free shopping trip needs to be documented, even if I was only gone an hour! I did enjoy a drive on the highway with the music loud and windows down! 

When I got home I had to get at least the front of the porch done. So while I was doing that, the kids were playing in the backyard with M. 

By the end of the night I just soaked up some sweet baby snuggles!! Em is such a cuddle bug! 

I managed to get this hung before heading to bed myself:

Sunday morning was a race around the house to wash the floors, get ready and do some last minute things. 

It was soo busy that we failed in getting a picture of Noah and boy was he cute. Em's God Mother managed to get this one at least:

The church service was amazing. The whole service was based on Hope. The sermon just hit home and was soo personal, yet perfect. Hope brought us to our children, and that is why Emilya's middle name is Hope. 

Emilya did great during the whole service and actually Noah did pretty good too, although he was busy. Unfortunately when we got up to the front to do the actual baptism, Noah had to pee, so Grandma ended up missing it while she took Noah to the bathroom. M and I both felt horribly, but it was one of those situations that we asked ourselves "what do you do?"

Of course we manage to get some family photos:

And with Emilya's god parents:

The dress:

This dress was mine as a baby and it was just soo important to me that she wear this one! When we couldn't find it, I was actually losing sleep over it! My mom gave her the headband as a gift for her baptism:

A few pictures of her in the dress:

After the service, we had lunch planned back at our place, we served lunch meats, buns, salad, etc. This is the cake I picked up from Costco:

And now for a little comparison photo:

That's me on the left and Em on the right! Crazy how much we look alike! 

Sorry Em! I had to do it!! Lucky for her headwear has come a long way:

It was soo nice celebrating Emilya! We feel soo blessed to have her in our lives! 

Thanksgiving Reminders

As another thanksgiving rolls around, I can't help to remember what a hard place I was in just 3 short years ago. Our very first IVF cycle was cancelled and I literally felt like my world had just shut down. God had said no, yet again. Despite this being the beginning of our journey really, as far as treatments went, it broke us down and made us realize that this journey was not going be quite as easy as we had set ourselves up to believe. We had figured that our first IVF would bring us the baby we always dreamed of. You have to put that in your in head, in order to just get through the cycle, or even prep yourself for the cycle, without that hope why else would you do it? You have to believe it's going to work. But when it doesn't, the let down sucks, your world is rocked in ways you never imagined.

For me, I didn't want to celebrate thanksgiving, I was mad, I was ungrateful, as bad as that seems to admit. It was too difficult to look at the things in my life that I am forever grateful for, like our families and friends, our pets, our house, our dreams that have come true, our jobs, our accomplishments, I could continue to list the things that matter in our lives. I made up an excuse as to why we weren't going to thanksgiving with our extended family, because we hadn't shared our struggles, and now was not the time to. I couldn't imagine having to talk about it, yet here I am admitting my faults, because I was wrong. My Mom and sister had tried convincing me to go, but I couldn't bear the thought at that point of pretending to be happy, little did I learn that soon this would be my only coping mechanism to get me through these hard times.

The following years around thanksgiving, and Christmas, and any other time another bump or no came up in our infertility journey it brings me back to remembering how easy it is to forget those important things in your life, even just the small things. The kisses goodnight with M, the quality time with my nieces or nephews, the puppy snuggles, family dinners and games, the walks with friends, those little moments in life that don't seem like much at the time, but looking back it was those exact moments that got me through.

Obviously this year is different for us, I'm teary eyed just writing about how grateful and thankful we are for where we are this weekend! This baby inside of me growing and kicking up a dance party is the answer to soo many prayers at this time of the year. The one thing I have prayed I could be thankful for! Thanksgiving for me this year is good, I'm just soaking in all those small things and I'm happier than ever. But with that being said, I will never forget the silent walls that scream your struggles non-stop at you when you are alone. I will never forget about those still struggling. I will never forget about my own struggles or how far I have come and I will never take this season for granted again.

Now is the time to put the struggles to the side, even just for a day and to truly be happy with what you DO have in your life. Your struggles, no matter what they are will still be part of yesterday and maybe tomorrow, but for one day just soak in the season of thanksgiving. 

Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends and family! May this weekend be filled with family, friends, positivity, reflections, faith and hope. 

Book Review: Bittersweet

Okay so I finally took some time to finish the book I had mentioned here.

Bittersweet

by: Shauna Niequist

 

This book was amazing! It spoke a lot about God, which at first I wasn't sure about, but by the end of the booked I just wanted more! The book spoke to me on soo many different levels! I went through and highlighted the lines soo important to me and almost every page has yellow on it!
 

This book was a nice easy read, as it is her telling her story, the way it was, how it made her feel and how she handled it. It was encouraging, it was real and it was downright honest. It was relatable and just what I needed! It challanged me to change the way I look at something now!

 

 

I can remember reading this book in Jamaica poolside with tears pouring out of my eyes! Thank goodness for big sunglasses! And just as I finished the book I was crying again! It just stirred up soo many emotions that I guess I have been putting to the side!
 

If you are struggling with anything in your life, this book will speak to you, no matter what the struggle.
 

As far as my faith goes, I can be honest enough to say that I am struggling, but this book gave me a new look at things. It brought faith back into my life even though I wasn't willing to consider it at this time.
 

It put soo many things into perception for me! It put so many of my thoughts into reality for me!
 

I am now going to share some of the lines that meant the most to me:
 

"I know what it's like to long for a new year, I know what it is like to feel like everything's on hold and you don't recognize your own life even though it's right in front of you."
 

"The middle is the fog, the exhaustion, the loneliness, the daily battle against despair and the nagging fear that tomorrow will be just like today, only you'll be wearier and less able to defend yourself against it. The middle is the lonely place, when you can't find the words to say how empty you feel, when you try to connect but you feel like a thick glass is seperating you from the rest of the world, isolating and deadening everything."
 

"What kept me stuck, when I was stuck, were my own demands and expectations, my own collection of fear and anxiety."
 

"I stop dreaming sometimes, because I am afraid of what it would take to change my life. I stop dreaming because I'm afraid of the chaos that a dream might bring, afraid of what a new dream will require of me. I practice being fine, and I tell myself that things are alright, just as they are."

 

 

"It's human to struggle. It's human to nurse a broken heart, to wonder if the pain will ever let up, to howl through your tears every once in a while."

 

 

"I don't have any idea why some bodies are strong and able and others seem to fail at every turn."

 

 

"I thought that what we really wanted are easy lives, and if we can't have those, then we can at least become deep, grounded people who grow through heartbreak."

 

 

"We become less fearful, more able, more comfortable with the idea of life as a beautiful mess."

 

 

This is a must read as far as I am concerned, even if you are not religious. You won't regret it! To be honest I would read it all over again just to get the messages that lie within it!