Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Weekend Rewind

If I'm being completely honest I really just wanted a low key, veg on the couch kind of weekend, however that is not what I got. Looking back though, the events that did happen were likely for the best!

Friday night M played ball for another team, we took Gracie, who actually did pretty well, but by the end of the game she was done with pretending to be happy and was back to her pouting! 

Saturday was my birthday and if I'm being really honest I really didn't feel like celebrating. M and I watched San Andreas in the morning and then M took Noah into town to grab some groceries while I showered and relaxed. When M got home he asked me where we were going for dinner and I really wasn't sure that I wanted to go out. Well before I knew it, he had called up friends of ours and made plans. He refused to let me mope on my birthday. We went to East Sides for dinner and it was actually really good and I'm glad we went! Afterwards my friend treated us to Dairy Queen. Noah had fun playing with their little guy too, which was nice. 

Before leaving I noticed they had the cupcakes in stock, but the flavours this time were the best: chocolate chip cookie dough, birthday cake supreme and birthday cake Oreo!! Yum! You bet I bought
some to bring home!! Best cupcakes ever!! 

Saturday night M tried to take Gracie for a walk, but she wouldn't go, so he tried dragging her out, thinking she would get better once they left - nope, worst walk ever. I got caught up on Mistresses and headed to bed. 

Sunday morning we headed to London and visited my Mom, who was also throwing me a birthday gathering with my sister and kids. While we were there early, M was able to tackle much of her to-do list and then when my sister arrived we took the kiddos swimming in the heated pool! Noah loved it and loved hanging out with Hannah!! 

We hit up Pizza Hut for lunch and man was it ever tasty! I couldn't believe how much I ate and had no interest in dinner until after 7! I was super full!! We attempted Old Navy too, but the line up inside was ridiculous, so we headed home instead! 

M did manage to hang my new dining room light and it looks great! I'm really happy with it and got a great deal!! 

Once it cooled down a bit and Noah went down I attempted taking Hracie for another walk. She had gone with me and Noah before and I lucked out. She kept trying to turn back and lagged a bit, but she came and I didn't push my luck, we just did a short one! It will get better! She went to the park last night with M and Noah. It's just such a big adjustment, especially for her! 

Friday, August 28, 2015

My Dear Sweet Lily

I can't believe your gone, my heart aches in a way I will never be able to explain. You really were the best dog, and the very best friend a girl could ask for.

You started out as our "Marley" - chewing the remote controls, coffee table, my camera, my Marley and Me book, shoes and of course we can't forget the kitchen floor. You were the Houdini in the house and could get out of your dog kennel by bending up the metal and crawling out. You were the stealer of the tea towels and burp cloths later on. You were my snuggler, and I still haven't figured out how you could breath when you nuzzled your wet snout right in against the blankets. You were a sister to Gracie, as well as her partner in crime and a big sister to Noah, a job you waited too long for. Oh my sweet Lily, life just will not be same without you. 

You were my rock and have been with me through so many tough things in life that we have been dealt. You had a tough go 3 years ago and we almost lost you then. We always said since then any extra time we had with you, we were lucky. Now I know just how lucky, but even that couldn't have prepared me for that day.

I can't even process what happened Wednesday, you went from fine to not fine in a matter of minutes. But I knew something wasn't right, something was different. Even not feeling well, you came when I called you, stumbled and all and just lied at my feet. Your gums were pale and your eyes were losing their glow. I took you outside and you laid in the grass, Gracie right by your side. I ran into get you some water and when I came back you were still. My sweet baby girl, I scooped you up, you looked in my eyes one last look, and took a few more short breaths as I cried and told you how much I love you. I put my head on your chest crying and listened to you take you your final breath and heard your heart stop beating. The silence was daunting and I couldn't help but to cry out. Gracie came in closer, put her head on my shoulder. She knew. We sat there and mourned together and then I had to call Mike. Gracie wouldn't leave your side, once I walked away she started barking. It's like a nightmare I can't wake up from. These things aren't supposed to happen in real life.

My eyes are wet, my face is swollen and my heart aches in a way I can't begin to explain. You were like a child to me. Just when I think I am out of tears, my body finds a way to make new ones. I can't shut off my thoughts, my memories, that day, or this night without you. I'm a wreck. I'm trying to keep busy, trying my best not to cry, but so many things get me going. When I get two treats out of the cookie jar, only needing one, when Noah looks around for you, seeing poor Gracie pouting and struggling with the loss, seeing her wait at the door for you to come outside too or seeing her sitting where you passed away yesterday because she can still smell you there. Life is soo hard right now. 

Gracie has never experienced life without you. She is lonely and mourning, but doing her best to try to engage with me right when I call her. I can't make this better for her. I can't bring you back. Oh how I wish I could. 

I can't even think of anything positive right now about this whole situation. People say at least it went quick, but I'm so selfish and think too quick. But how do I say goodbye in a matter of minutes? My thoughts are selfish, my grief is unbearable. People think you were just a dog, but to me, you were soo much more than that. You were my child, my love, my best friend, my joy, my companion, you were a sister - but you were never just a dog.

I'm glad I was with you, don't get me wrong, but deep down I feel haunted and keep checking on Gracie to make sure she is still breathing. Sometimes I find myself looking for you or waiting for you come up the stairs or out the door. But you don't come anymore. We went for our first walk without  you today and I'll be honest it just wasn't the same. 

They say life goes on, time will heal all wounds and maybe that is so, but right now it seems impossible. Nothing can bring you back, all I have left are memories, your stuff and photos. 

So goodbye my sweet angel, you will be forever missed and never forgotten. You were my best dog ever. Until we meet again...

RIP Sweet Lily, I will always love you like no other, my best friend. 

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Loves on Wednesday

Still not the post I had planned for today... But life just keeps getting in the way!

I am loving that my dining room is done now, and soo is my great room! Granted we need to redo the floors in the great room, that is a project that can wait a bit because I am soo over renos right now!! 

I am loving my family - yesterday we had a scare with my Dad, long story short, he is okay, it was literally just a scare to what they chalked up as a cardiac event, but warned him just how lucky he was. He will be following up with some more tests and go and see his cardiologist. When I say it scared me and my sister, it REALLY scared him and I would be happy to not have to have hard conversations in the hospital with him, but at the same time, I'm glad they were conversations and that I still had him to talk to! 

Mikes Mom was able to come over and watch Noah for me last minute and ended up making us dinner too!! Soo grateful to have someone there that I can call in a flash. 

Noah had fun with Grandma in the meantime:

I love that little boy more than words. He is constantly showing me that he is turning into such a big boy lately and is constantly challenging himself. 

Clearly this post is turning into a sappy one... So I will just leave with a quote I am loving too:

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Tuesday Tidbits

All I have for today is random bits going down!!

- the dining room crown is being painted today, along with the ceiling in the great room!! 

- it's a chilly day today calling for pants! Something tells me fall is on the way! 

- can I just say that Americans really do have it figured out when it comes to awesome snacks... The latest find - brownie brittle!! Amazing!! 

- last night Noah showed us that he knows how to climb a ladder... Trouble, yet might be handy one day - no? 

- looks like we are set for fall clothes for the little man, I may buy a few things, but we are pretty much set! 

That's all I got for today!! 

Monday, August 24, 2015

Weekend Rewind

I am going to break our weekend down in point form today

- When M got home from work, he brought in Noah's new sand box! Boy was he excited. He was climbing in it, on it and then we decided to put balls in it for fun. He was thrilled!!

- Friday night was the longest ball game ever... But it was their last season game and they lost by 1!

- Saturday morning Noah went with M to get sand for the sand box while I worked on figuring out storage in our bedroom... It wasn't a big success and laundry did not get put away! 

- I napped in the afternoon when Noah did! 

- Noah kept himself busy while M and I attempted house work! 

- we made homemade perogies for dinner and they were soo good!! 

- our neighbours invited us over for a bonfire! We had to get creative with the baby monitor, but we
did get it to work! I brought the fixings for s'more waffle bowls and they were delish!! 

- Sunday we all slept in until 8:45!! I slept so good after we put the down duvet on the bed! Crazy how much I miss that thing! 

- we got straight to chores and Noah was right into it:

- I ran and got a few groceries when Noah went down for a nap, we got caught up on laundry (just not putting it away)

- we made lasagna for dinner and have lots left over to make some freezer meals! 

- we went through Noah's clothes and good news is, I don't think we need too much for the fall!! We should be set!

- M and Noah went out after dinner and cut the lawn!

That's about it!! It was a good weekend in the sense of getting caught up on the housework! 


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