Thursday, June 9, 2011

Is There A Such Thing As Bathroom Etiquette?

So I have a bit of a problem...

I HATE PUBLIC BATHROOMS

I feel a bit better now getting that off my chest... but seriously people I HATE them! I have always had a problem with them for as long as I can remember back to! Where shall I start?

Is there a such thing as bathroom etiquette?

- Porto-potties - CAN NOT DO IT! Nope, I cannot even take step into one. I even had a fancy one at my wedding for the guests and it was super clean and white, apparently it even had flowers and potpourri, I wouldn't know it because I didn't use it!! Even as a child... wouldn't do it!!

- Peeing on the side of the road or in a bush - been there... tried that... note I was very intoxicated and I needed peer support to convince me to... I will not do that again and when I have kids, you will not find me encouraging them to pee on the side of the road, not to mention the fact that I am pretty sure it is illegal!

- Using one of those hole in the wall truck stops - NOPE... I tried, didn't even make it into the stall of that bad boy... once I saw the "reusable towel roll" that was BROWN, I b-lined it out of there!

Thanks to all of these incidents I have a remarkable bladder that can I can hold... don't remind me of this when I am elderly please... I don't mean to brag, after all I know it is not good for you, but what else is a girl to do? I have also been told that if you hold it for too long, it can affect your orgasms....Yes I just said orgasm on my blog... I am not to sure how I feel about that! HA! You can't say my blog is not informative!!

Now let's take a look at an everyday bathroom experience, you know when you are not on the road or at a party or concert... Like work...

I work in an office building and we have a common bathroom for anyone to use. Fine, no problem, my office is not overly busy. In fact, if I see one of the ladies from the other offices walk past my door, I assume it is to use the ladies room and I will wait if I have to go. I just think it is courteous. Because I know I certainly don't like it when people are in the bathroom with me, so if I can help it, I try to avoid it! However, sometimes it happens...

- I cannot pee when there is someone else in the room. It is something about knowing that someone will hear me pee? Is that weird? Am I the only one out there? I mean sometimes if I really HAVE to go, I can, but most of the time I get stage fright!!  Yup, I totally just diagnosed myself with stage fright in the bathroom!

- Does anyone find it weird if someone is singing or humming? I do... I actually find it weird if someone is talking on their cellphone in the public bathroom... I have had both of these things happen and it really makes the stage fright worse!

- Who talks to a stranger in the public bathroom... I am not talking about a BIG public bathroom.. it is small, like 3 stalls, 2 sinks type of deal! Don't get me wrong I will talk to strangers with no problem at all, but the bathroom? Really? Like come on people... you could have just heard me pee... AWKWARD!!!

- I don't like being followed, it creeps me out and this does not happen all that often because I try to monitor the offices around me, but being followed into the bathroom makes me want to hurry up and shut the stall door...

Other things that happen in public bathrooms that bother me...

- No toilet paper.. really... it sucks and it has happened to us all at one point or another. What do you do? I remember one time I had a little kid in the stall beside me.. I waited until they left the stall and luckily they had pulled the toilet paper all the way down so it was almost touching the ground, so I totally grabbed what I could and pulled a large amount off.. ripped the "contaminated by the ground part off" and called it a day! And people wonder why girls are in the bathroom longer than guys...

- I think they should have hand sanitizers in each stall, so not only can you sanitize your hands after touching the handle, but you can sanitize the seat... I hate it when people piss on the seat... disgusting! I mean how hard is it? Or if people let their little kids pee all over the place... GROSS!!

- I also hate it when the garbage is not by the door... I don't want to open the door with my freshly cleaned hands... that's what the paper towel is for after I dry my hands!

- I also don't like it when people don't wash their hands... you just came out of the bathroom, whether you did anything or not, you touched something that someone else did after they did use the bathroom... GROSS!

My list could obviously go on forever...

I am telling ya, this bathroom problem is stressful!! This probably won't be the last post on this topic... just so ya know! I have been holding out on you all this whole time... keeping this big bad secret in, but now it is out there, I feel like I may have shed a layer or something and can keep going on now...

Please tell me I am not the only crazy person out there....

9 comments:

Rebekah said...

You aren't! Everything is totally me. I've learned to hold it. I'll wait to go if there is someone else in the bathroom because it just freaks me out! Haha

Carolyn said...

I'm right there with you!!! hahaha

Anonymous said...

Well when you get to be my age (60) when you gotta go, you gotta GO!!!!NOW. I prefer "clean" bathrooms but can manage if I have to...as for anyone hearing me pee....my goodness, you think NO ONE but you did it...give me a break....everybody pees and shits...so what....we are humans and God made us this way..we Void..get over it. HAHAHAHA

Rebecca said...

How about when there is a big bathroom with many stalls and you go in there only to pick a stall far away from the door to find someone comes in and plunks their butt in the stall right next to you. I hate that! I too get stage fright. Nice to know I'm not the only one who is so choosy of where I deposit my waste products.

Amanda said...

Ugh, you're totally not the only one with these concerns. Public bathrooms skeeve me out. There is someone I work with who ALWAYS pees on the seat... I mean I guess it happens sometimes (not really sure how) but if you do, at least have the courtesy to wipe it off after!

Shiri Briseno said...

right there with you on the porta potty issue, they really gross me out, I think because a) there isn't usually a sink so everyone uses it and then has dirty hands and goes along touching everything else YUCK!!! B) they are dirty nasty smelly foul yucky places I think I would rather hold it whether is messes with the big O or not:)

Anonymous said...

LOL totally agree... I too, hate the whole talk on the cell phone while in the bathroom thing.. come on really... so I am the person that continously flushes while they're on the phone..... OOPS...

Jessica said...

Whyyy would anyone talk to a stranger in a bathroom!? So creepy and gross.

Nathan said...

bathroom cell phone talkers are the worst!

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