Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Remembering

Today I think back 6 years ago and remember the phone call that broke my heart. I heard the news and tried my best to stay strong but once I got off the phone, my knees went weak and I fell to the ground. Tears began to stream from my eyes uncontrollably. I tried to tell M what had happened but I couldn't get the words out. M just held me, knowing there were no words to make this better, my Grandma was gone.

I managed to pull myself together to go up to the hospital and say goodbye. I knew that there was always a time to cry and a time to stay strong. Grandma had taught me this. I knew that it was okay to cry, but part of me wanted to be the stong woman Grandma had taught me to be.

I stood up in front of everyone at her funeral with strength only she would understand. I can remember thinking one day I will be strong like my Grandma and to this day I still strive for this! It didn't matter what Grandma was faced with, she took it on with dignity. I only saw her cry a few times and when I did, I knew just how to comfort her back, just as she would with me. Her hugs were endless and her words were whispers of strength.

When I am down or upset, I can quickly get a grip with her sweet reminders. When I face hard times, I know that I can get through it no matter the outcome because my strength will allow me.

There have been soo many times where I have been able to face the unthinkable because of what she has taught me. There are many times where I could have given up, but I didn't because in my heart I have had her words encouraging me. I do my best to make her proud.

To say I miss her does not sum it up. But I know she is always there for me when I need her the most.

Today not only to I remember a remarkable woman whom I will forever cherish in my heart, I remember soo many memories that I will never forget as a child. The pictures are still vivid in my mind!!

In honor of my Grandma, I plan to make her chocolate chip cookies today! I hope to have the house smell just like hers did. I look forward to the taste of the cookie dough and the taste of a warm cookie melting in my mouth!


6 comments:

Hilary said...

Sorry for your loss! Hold on to those fond memories - enjoy the cookies today :)

Murdock's mama said...

Big hugs...thinking of you today!

Nikki said...

Loosing your grandmother must have sucked. I know it killed me when I lost mine in April. Big hugs to you today!

J and A said...

Such a sweet post. So sorry it's a sad day. Enjoy the cookies! Hugs.

Caley-Jade Rosenberg said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you today. May the cookies taste even sweeter - I bet she is making them up in Heaven too! x

Leslie said...

Hugs to you!! My Grandma just passed away in August.
Something we always did together was bake and one of the things I got of hers was her recipe box. I have gone through that thing SO many times and just want to make everything out of there. Every time I make one of her recipes it makes me feel like she is there with me

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